As lost as Alice
by lavenderseyes
Summary: Ichigo is having a difficult time to finish his homework for his literature class, especially with the memories of his last encounter with Kuchiki Rukia flooding his mind. Ichiruki...definitely!


**Disclaimer:** I don't own bleach. _

Ichigo scratched the back of his head, finding the right words to start his report. Their first homework for their literature class is to write a short essay about Lewis Carroll's "Alice in Wonderland". He already finished reading the novel yesterday, but he still can't decide a topic to focus on. The story has many interesting ideologies and unique characters that he wanted to write about.

He stared at the ceiling of his dorm trying to picture out the characters of the novel. His normal scowl turned into a bitter smile as he remembered the last time he saw a picture book version of Alice in Wonderland.

_Rukia entered Ichigo's room, "I found this book under Yuzu's bed. Is this some kind of American Manga?"_

_Ichigo snorted, "It's one of the twins' children's books, idiot. And you're stealing Yuzu's books now? I thought it's just the clothes?"_

"_Shut up berry head! I'm bored and besides, it seems like Yuzu's not reading this one. So I BORROWED it. See, it's all dusty." Rukia waved the book in front of Ichigo to prove her point. Ichigo coughed before shoving it out of his face, "Yeah midget, I get the point."_

"_Stop calling me midget, moron!" Rukia plopped herself on Ichigo's bed and started reading the book. After a few minutes, she threw the book against the wall. "This is just plain stupid!"_

_Ichigo didn't bother to look at her. She was clearly irritated._

"_Who in their right minds would follow a stupid rabbit down a rabbit hole? She doesn't even know where it leads to. It could've been an arrancar in disguise trying to lure a shinigami to Hueco Mundo. Then she drank a potion that says 'drink me'? What if its poison? And she was not satisfied, she even had a tea party with a MAD hatter! He's MAD, didn't she get that! She could've been killed. What if that stranger hatter turned out to be Grimjow or Aizen in disguise?" Rukia shook her head. _

_Ichigo can't help but grin at his companion. She's getting all worked out over a children's book._

"_If it was Chappy that jumped through that hole, I'm sure, you'll be the first one to follow… " He thought inwardly._

Ichigo tried to ignore the pang in his chest and just laughed at the memory. "Yeah, it's a stupid story all right".

He's been sitting for almost an hour and he still can't get to start on his report. So he plans to grab dinner at the convenience store near the university dorm and probably purchase a picture book version of the novel. This might help him finish his homework quicker.

"Who are you fooling?" His subconscious nagged. "You just wanted something that will remind you of her. Something that will convince you that she existed". He shook his head violently to rid himself of those thoughts. If he wanted to convince himself that he had once been with a shinigami named Kuchiki Rukia, he could've just asked for the help of Uraha Kisuke and went to soul society. But he didn't. For the past three years, he lived a life without her and he's not going to change that now. He sat back down and stared at the blank Microsoft Word screen. Contrary to the empty page, his mind is now flooding with his last memories of her.

_The war was over, all the shinigami went back to soul society -to fix the damage caused by Aizen- …and that included Rukia. Months passed since Ichigo last saw her. It was in those nights that he realized how empty his life had been without her. His friends also noticed the difference in Ichigo's behavior when Rukia was not around. Inoue often joked about going to soul society and fetching Kuchiki-san, but they would just laugh about it. Even at home, his father would go to the usual routine of telling Masaki that their third daughter forgot about them and have probably eloped with some rich guy. Yuzu glanced nervously at his brother and tell his father off. Karin would just kick his dad and stuff her snickers at his mouth._

_Ichigo kept on repeating to his family and friends that he has just gone back to his normal (Rukia-free) life. But he, of all people knew better that no matter how weird and crazy life is when she's around…life without her is just not complete._

_Then on his birthday, he received the most special - and very unexpected - gift from his friends. The bell rang signaling the end of the morning classes. Ichigo and his friends were on their way to the roof top to have their lunch. Everyone was talking animatedly about how they would celebrate Ichigo's birthday. He silently listened to their ideas - video games, getting drunk, hooking up with sexy women and hanging out in a club - most of which are Keigo's suggestions. And just as they were nearing the top of the staircase, everyone, but Ichigo, stopped walking. Ichigo did not notice this and proceeded to open the door, only to find a lone girl standing by the railing. And just like the last time, Ichigo just stood and gaped at the girl that stood a few feet away from him. His heart was beating so fast, only to suddenly stop, as she turned around to face him. _

"_It has been a while, Ichigo." Rukia gave him a genuine smile._

_Everyone smiled - Inoue cried - and they all rushed to greet their friend._

_They ate lunch happily, except for Ichigo who spent most of time gaping at her like an idiot. Inoue kept on talking about her new recipes and that she wanted to make some of it for Kuchiki-san. Everyone laughed nervously, but Rukia politely said that she'll accept and have her nii-sama try it. _

"_That might not be a good idea Kuchiki-san" Tatsuki joked, which caused Inoue to pout._

_Ishida then interjected, "Stop staring at Kuchiki-san, Kurosaki. She might melt." _

_Inoue giggled and quickly recovered from the negative comments on her cooking._

_Ichigo snapped out of it and scowled. "Shut up!"_

_That afternoon, they went to the arcade where they played Star Wars. Everyone lost badly to Rukia, who was really good at 'laser' sword fighting. But not as badly as Ichigo, who didn't even last for 30 seconds. Rukia just mouthed a few words. Ichigo got confused and kept on asking "what did you say?" and before he even realized it, Luke Skywalker - Ichigo's character - lost badly to Queen Amidala. _

_They also went to a videoke bar before going to Ichigo's house to eat the dinner that Yuzu made. It was almost 10pm when everyone went home. Ichigo went up to his room leaving Rukia with his father and sisters._

_After a few minutes, she followed him upstairs._

"_You've been acting like an idiot, the whole day" Rukia said as she slammed Ichigo's door shut._

"_It's because I can't stand you gloating about winning Star Wars. Queen Amidala my ass!" This was their typical conversation._

"_Just because a girl kicked your ass doesn't mean you can act like an idiot" Rukia placed her hands on her hips._

"_Just because you've been gone for a whole year and practiced your sword skills often doesn't mean you can brag about being the greatest Jedi. And Amidala is not even a Jedi!" Ichigo stood up from his bed and faced her. Well, he literally has to look to down to face her (^^)._

"_Oh! So that's what this is all about. You missed me" a smile playfully painted on Rukia's lips._

"_Who said anything about missing you midget? …Aah yes! I did miss you! Because there's no annoying brat ordering me around, kicking my shin every so often and bothering me whenever I do my homework" Ichigo knew that what he was saying was nonsense._

"_I am so sorry" Rukia said sarcastically. "I never thought you missed me that much."_

"_Dream on midget!" Ichigo is actually having fun at this._

"_Stop calling me midget!" _

"_Oh! Is that so?" Ichigo placed his elbow on her head and leaned._

"_I am not a table!" Rukia stomped on his foot._

_Ichigo let himself fall onto his bed and grabbed Rukia's arm, causing her to fall as well. He started tickling her. He wasn't sure, but he just had to try if Rukia was ticklish. It was a strange idea that he got since he knew that he can't fight back whenever Rukia becomes violent. And it actually worked. Who knew the proud Kuchiki Rukia is actually ticklish._

_Not a minute has passed when Ichigo decided to stop. They both sprawled on the bed, trying to catch their breath._

"_Welcome home midget" he said._

"_I will not be staying" she whispered. But it was enough for Ichigo to hear._

"_So your visit is just to attend my birthday celebration? Which reminds me, you neither have greeted me yet nor given me your birthday present" Ichigo tried to lighten up, knowing that the conversation was starting to get serious._

"'_Happy Birthday. There, happy now?"_

_Ichigo was not sure if she was serious or sarcastic. "Trying to be sarcastic now, are we? And where's the gift?"_

"_I am a shinigami. I am not a human that attends any of your worldly celebrations. My existence is solely to maintain the balance between this world and the spirit world…" Rukia stopped talking when Ichigo cut her off._

"_Yeah yeah…I heard that before…and with colorful illustrations if I remember correctly. But you haven't answered my question yet Miss Shinigami, where is my gift" _

"_Fine! Shut up and look at me" Rukia placed her hands on his cheeks and forced him to face her. She slowly drew her face closer to his and she closed her eyes. Ichigo's heart started to pound against his chest. It seems as if his rib cage won't be able to hold his very excited heart. He can feel her hands tremble. So he chose to be bold and moved forward to claim her lips with his. He parted his lips slightly, encouraging her to do the same. His invitation was accepted gladly and their kiss deepens. _

"_Just this night" Rukia said, but it fell on deaf ears as Ichigo leaned in for a second kiss, only to be cut off when Rukia placed her hand in between their lips._

"_That's enough mister. You already had your gift. Can we now get some rest?" and without another word, Rukia laid down on Ichigo's pillow with her back against the wall. _

_Ichigo lay down next to her, placed his hands around her waist and moved closer so that her forehead is resting on his shoulder. "Just for this night he'll be braver", he thought._

"_Goodnight Rukia…I love you…"_

"_I love you too idiot" Rukia lightly slapped his cheeks before closing her eyes…_

_Ichigo opened his eyes just as the morning sunshine hit his face. He noticed that Rukia was not beside him. He immediately stood up - opened his closet, went to the twins' room, checked the bathroom and rushed to the kitchen and living room, but he was not able to find Rukia._

_He walked right back to his room, sat on his bed and buried his face in the pillow that he and Rukia shared that night. He then remembered a faint whisper "until we meet again strawberry". _

"_Ichigooooooooo…" _

_He felt his father's feet land on his back causing a few bones to crack. He was too preoccupied to feel his father enter his room. Ishin was so happy to have finally caught Ichigo off guard._

"_It's time for breakfast son! Get your lazy ass down and eat your sister's delicious cooking." Ishin was about to land another punch, but Ichigo caught it before it hit his head. He forcefully pushed his father back, causing Ishin to lose his balance and fall to the floor with a thud. _

_Ishin ran downstairs, expecting Ichigo to run after him and continue their useless daily routine. Ichigo just scowled and stared outside his window._

_Rukia's words and actions last night sent a clear message…she loved him, but they're just not meant for each other…at least not now…_

…_That was the last time he saw Kuchiki Rukia…_

Ichigo's inspiration finally kicked in. He decided to focus on the one conversation, between Alice and the Cheshire Cat that struck him the most.

_Cheshire Puss,' [Alice] began, rather timidly, as she did not at all know whether it would like the name: however, it only grinned a little wider. `Come, it's pleased so far,' thought Alice, and she went on. _

_`Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?' _

_`That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat. _

_`I don't much care where-' said Alice. _

_`Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat. _

_`-so long as I get SOMEWHERE,' Alice added as an explanation. _

_`Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, `if you only walk long enough.'"_

Yes, just like Alice, Ichigo was has been walking without a definite direction. He needs someone to tell him where to go…

Ichigo was having breakfast with his friends the next morning. He still has an hour before his first class that day. He has the same literature professor as Ishida and Inoue and they were having a discussion about their essays.

"I think 'Alice in Wonderland' is just full of bullshit. For starters, who would follow a white rabbit down a rabbit's hole. Duh…it could have been a trap…" a woman's voice suddenly spoke causing Ichigo to immediately look at the speaker.

"Oh, Kurosaki. This is the classmate that I wanted to introduce to you last week. Though, you ditched us and didn't show up at the arcade after your last class" Ishida said, trying to hide his smile. Ishida studied Kurosaki's face, which is currently displaying a very entertaining emotion.

"Sorry. Busy. Introduce us then." Ichigo had a hard time getting those words out of his mouth. The girl in front of him has huge lavender eyes, raven black hair and proud demeanor of an aristocrat.

"Kurosaki Ichigo, this is Takano Rukia. Inoue and I became friends with her immediately because we have the interests" Ishida continued.

"And what might that be" Ichigo asked, his eyes still glued on the girl.

"She said that she has a faint memory from her past life - making her believe in reincarnations…" Inoue was the one who spoke. Her smile was ear to ear as she watched Ichigo still in shock.

"Nice to finally meet you, Ichigo" Rukia smiled.

"Rukia…" was all that Ichigo managed to say.

And the words _"until we meet again, strawberry…"_ rang to his ears.


End file.
